Relationships come and go. Some relationships mean more to us than others. What happens when you break up with someone you consider to be your best friend? How do you move on from losing not just a partner, but also, a friend?
It’s hard to move on from a person you used to spend majority of your time with. You shared things with that other person that you couldn’t imagine sharing with anyone else. In a relationship, your partner also tends to act as your friend, often your best friend. It makes it harder to move on from a break up when you’re also having to move on from losing a friend.
Many people contemplate trying to stay friends with their ex. Some believe this idea only leads to further heartbreak and disappointment. Others will say that staying friends with an ex will only cause you to procrastinate from moving on from that person. That may be true, but if you value that friendship with someone you used to be in a relationship with, there are some ways to remain friends with an ex.
If you truly want to be friends with your ex, you have to forgive them. If you can’t let go of the reason(s) why you and your significant other ended things, then there is no chance of the two of you being friends. Whether the breakup was mutual, his fault, or even your fault, forgiveness is a necessary step in the process of you and ex moving on to becoming friends.
You and your ex are not dating anymore, you are just friends. Therefore, the relationship between you two is just a friendship, and as hard is might be to accept, that’s all it is, a friendship. A friendship with an ex is not a second chance at a romantic relationship. Accept the fact that the two of you were not romantically compatible and that you are both may just be better off as friends.
It is important to give each other time from the breakup before trying to remain friends. Setting boundaries with each other is in each other’s best interest. This is because you are not always going to want to be friends with your ex at times. The fact that can never go away is that this person is your ex, so there’s going to be times when you can’t or just simply do not want to be around this person. It is understandable to have built up anger towards an ex, even if you are friends. For this reason and more, there has to be boundaries set between the two of you.
Your ex will eventually move on. Watching your ex with someone else is hard, and it is even harder to not show it. If you really want to make the friendship work, you will have to not let your jealousy show when your ex moves on to someone new. The good news is, you will eventually move on as well.
Avoid Flirtation and Spending Time Alone with Each Other:
You and your ex are trying to make a friendship work, but the past is still the past. Don’t tempt yourself into falling back into to old habits by spending time alone with one another. Also, avoid the flirtatious behavior. Friends don’t flirt with each other, because flirting often leads to things that do not fall under the category of “friend”.
Moving on from the past is hard. You and your ex spent significant time with one another and no one is telling you to forget those special moments the two of you shared together. To stay friends with an ex though, you have to move on and let go of the fact that the two of you used to be romantically involved. It is not healthy to hold on to something that is not there anymore. Let go of the romantic past and move forward into the possibility of being friends. This shows maturity and respect for not only yourself, but also towards your ex.