By Allison Chawla
I watched couples celebrate their 50th and 60th Wedding Anniversaries and wondered why the divorce rate for my generation’s couples is approximately 50%. I witnessed Grannies dancing with joy and older gents out for coffee, laughing like teenagers. I wondered what their secrets were?
So, instead of wondering any longer I decided to stop and ask. Here are some of the things these incredible, old, souls told me. Unfortunately, I don’t remember all of their names, but I will never forget their advice and uplifting stories.
Be Grateful: For everything. ‘It is so easy to forget that we are lucky to have two hands full of fingers. Two feet with ten toes. Two arms, two legs. Our breath, our voice, and the ability to use them with the freedom to choose how we want to use them.’
Learn To Be A Little Deaf: (If I remember correctly this was to be applied in relationships and especially in marriage.) ‘Let things go. Let them go in one ear and out the other. You have to pick your battles, and be sure to only pick the ones that are really worth fighting for.’
Say Sorry: ‘Even if you think you are right, if the other person is very upset and you care about their feelings; just say sorry. Being able to say sorry means you value your relationship with the other person more than you value proving to them that you are right.’
Don’t Worry Yourself: (This one is from my Grandma Capone.) ‘Don’t worry yourself throughout your lifetime. It only makes you worry more. It will never get you anywhere and will always get in your way. It’s just not worth it.’
Never Go To Bed Angry: ‘Resolve your issues with your loved ones and friends. Makeup before you go to bed. If you don’t it will eat away at you while you sleep and age you while you rest, and only make you feel even worse in the morning.’
Say “Oh Well” and “Eh, Whatever”: (I love this one and I hope that my girls will have an attitude like this throughout life.) Right before you go to bed at night, say to yourself ‘Oh well’ and let things go. When you wake up in the morning before you approach the day, say to yourself; ‘Eh, Whatever.’ These two phrases will help you to be much easier on yourself and enjoy even your imperfections so much more.
Stretch: ‘Get out of bed every morning and stretch. Even if it is just for a minute. Wake your body, your heart, and your mind up with a grateful stretch.’
Tell People You Love Them: ‘You never know when your last day will be with someone. So, always tell them that you love them.
Say ‘No’: Be true to your feelings. Say ‘no’ whenever you really feel like saying no.
Don’t Waste Your Energy On Jealousy: Jealousy is a wasted emotion. It can ruin your life. You can never be anyone but yourself, so never be jealous of anyone else.
Remember That Your Friends Are Your Chosen Family: We can’t choose our biological family, but we can choose our friends. Just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean you have to be close to them, if their presence is toxic to you.
Always Try Your Hardest And Do Your Best: You will feel better about yourself and have fewer regrets if you always do your best. Regret stays with you forever and will age you.
Keep Dancing: Even if you can’t dance, dance. Express your joy, love your body and the things it can do while you have it.
Sing: In the shower, on the road, to your children, to yourself and anyone you love. Make a happy noise. It keeps you young and free.
Keep Going On Date Nights: Never stop enjoying yourself or your partner. You are never too old to have a good date!
Always Dress up!: Old is the new gold. Don’t let yourself go. You can feel just as beautiful and confident when you’re old. Fashion can keep you feeling beautiful and young.
And this last one. Which I have heard quite a few times and it still makes me chuckle……
Every Night, Before Bed Have a Little Bit of Whiskey: It takes the edge off and its good for your soul.